Living with Elderly Parents: Pros and Cons

If your elderly parents are starting to struggle at home, you may consider having them move in with you for support. After all, it's surely cheaper than moving into a care home, and you'll be reassured that they're in capable hands. However, it's important to know whether this is right for you. Not every household is suited to an elderly relative moving in, and it's also important to consider the emotional and mental impacts. To help you make the right decision, we explore the pros and cons of living with elderly parents.

The Welfare of Our Loved Ones

It's natural to worry about our loved ones as they get older. Our parents, especially, hold a special place in our hearts and it can be difficult to see them struggle with things they used to enjoy. Of course, before jumping to moving them into your home, there are ways you can support their wellbeing.

Hobbies and exercise are important aspects of later life, as they support physical and mental health. If your elderly parent is struggling with loneliness, for example, there are plenty of groups that cater to the older demographic. It may be a way for them to meet new people and get a new lease on life.

However, we recognise that sometimes living with elderly parents may seem to be the best solution.

Pros of Living with Elderly Parents

Fortunately, there are advantages to living with your elderly parents, ranging from the financial to the emotional.

Peace of Mind

One of the worries many people have when they live away from elderly parents is that they can't always make sure their loved ones are safe. By living with elderly parents, you will see them regularly. This provides the reassurance that they are okay without constantly checking your phone or interrupting your loved one's day with phone calls.

However, for those who may not be ready for their elderly parent to move in, a personal alarm can provide peace of mind. In an emergency, they simply press the button on their alarm pendant or base unit to send an alert to our Care Team. We then arrange help on their behalf by calling emergency contacts – most customers choose family or close friends.

Cheaper than Care Homes and Carers

Saving money is at the forefront of many people's minds right now, and for good reason. When it comes to supporting our loved ones' welfare, many options may seem too expensive to consider. On average, it costs nearly £800 a week to stay in a care home, with nursing homes costing considerably more.

Whilst you can get some help towards the costs of care, it can still feel like too much to pay. Living with elderly parents removes this worry. Moreover, as they will not be paying their own bills, your loved one will be able to hold onto more of their money – some of this could go towards supporting the rest of the household. Ultimately, this could benefit everyone and reduce money worries. If you take on a role as your elderly parent's carer, you may also be eligible for financial support, such as Carers Allowance.

More Family Time

Reassurance isn't the only benefit hat comes from living with elderly parents. Just as one of the downsides of living apart is a lack of contact, living together makes it easier to spend quality time with a loved one. This is a great way to keep them involved in family activities. If your own children are still living at home, this can be even more important, as it helps your parents see them grow up.

Being able to see your elderly parent easily is especially important in our fast-paced society. Often, it can feel like there just isn't time to visit a loved one. Living with elderly parents removes the necessity of travelling for a quick catch-up only to leave again and drive home. Instead, all your social interactions take place in the comfort of a shared home. It may also make it easier to continue, or establish, some family traditions.

A Comfortable Setting

For your elderly parents, moving in with family members is likely preferable to living in a care home. It will be more familiar to them, and they will be surrounded by people they already know. This can do a lot to improve their overall mood, which in turn supports cognitive health.

You also have more freedom to adjust their surroundings to be comfortable. A care home might not let your loved one hang pictures, for example, but in your own home you can put up as many as you want.

Cons of Living with Elderly Parents

Of course, there's no such thing as a perfect situation. Depending on the circumstances that have led you to consider living with your elderly parent, there may be disadvantages to the arrangement.

Extra Responsibilities

If you are considering living with elderly parents due to their health problems, you may find that you have to dedicate more of your own time to supporting them. Though dependent on their needs, you may find that you struggle to divide time between your parent and your existing responsibilities.

This can take a toll on your wellbeing. Being a carer is often a stressful experience. Moreover, it can have a negative impact on your finances – you may be forced to reduce your hours or even quit a job to care for your parent.

Strained Relationships

Whilst you may initially welcome the idea of spending more time with your loved one, living with elderly parents can start to strain relationships. Living together means seeing them at their worst as well as their best, and living with elderly parents can highlight differences in opinions and lifestyles.

Whether it's a conflict of routines or arguments over politics or your parenting, the stress of living with elderly parents could sour your relationship. This, understandably, is something you likely want to avoid. Therefore, it's important to think very carefully about whether this is likely to happen.

Expenses

Living with elderly parents may seem like a cost-saving strategy, but it may be more expensive than you expect. It is entirely likely that you will need to make adjustments to your home to make it more suitable for your loved one. Adaptations may include grabrails in your bathroom or a stairlift if they will need to go upstairs.

In some cases, having an elderly loved one move in may require building an extension. Alternatively, your loved one may have specialist equipment such as an oxygen machine – this may also increase your bills. Furthermore, moving them in with you may, itself, be an expensive process, as you hire a removals company.

Reduced Independence

Another disadvantage of living with elderly parents is that they may become dependent on your support. One of the main benefits of living in your own home is that you are in control of your own life, and living alone encourages this behaviour. Living with people who can help you with tasks, or do them for you, can stop your loved one doing things for themselves.

As well as contributing to a strained relationship, this loss of independence could affect your loved one's wellbeing. Often, people don't notice they are becoming reliant on others until it's too late. This lack of independence may cause your elderly parent to struggle with their mental health. Their physical health can be affected too.

Less Privacy

Think about the reasons people often choose to stop living with their parents. As well as independence, often it's also a case of wanting more privacy. Parents, understandably, like to be involved in their children's lives, but the line between genuine interest and meddling can be a thin one. This feeling can also apply to your loved one; their privacy is as important as your own.

Adding another person into your home dynamic reduces the amount of space available for doing your own thing. Plus, as aforementioned, you and your elderly parent may have different ideas about how things should be done. No one wants to live with someone who criticises their relationships, for example.

Alternatives to Living with Elderly Parents

Ultimately, it's important to make the right choice for yourself and your elderly parents. This is also a decision that should only be made with their input. If you decide that living with elderly parents isn't the right move, however, what are your alternatives?

Obviously, a care home is one option. If your loved one is unable to care for themselves adequately, and their home is no longer a suitable environment, then a care home provides a safe place where they can receive the care they need. However, this is an option many people prefer to avoid.

Another alternative is to pay for a carer. This could be a full-time, live-in carer or a carer who visits at prearranged times. This allows your elderly parent to continue living in the comfort of their own home with extra reassurance that someone will visit to help them with daily tasks. This can also help to fight loneliness and reassure you that someone can visit them when you are unable.

You might also consider downsizing. If your loved one is struggling to cope with their current living arrangements, moving into a smaller home – and one closer to you – could be an effective compromise to living with elderly parents. However, this can be a stressful experience, as any house move is.

If you and your elderly parent are mainly looking for reassurance, a personal alarm could be the alternative you're looking for. With a personal alarm, your loved one simply presses a button if they experience a fall or other emergency. This sends an alert to our 24/7 Care Team, who arrange help on their behalf. At Careline365, we also provide a fall detector alarm, which sends an automatic alert if it senses your loved one has fallen, offering added reassurance.

Find Out More About Personal Alarms

At Careline365, we are committed to supporting the independence and safety of elderly and vulnerable people across the UK. We provide the latest in personal alarm technology, including the advanced SmartLife alarm. On average, we answer alert calls in less than 5 seconds, and our professional Care Team have been accredited by the TEC Services Association.

To find out more, please read our guide, or get in touch today. You can order your personal alarm online today, or by calling out helpful team on 0800 030 8777 – they are always happy to answer any questions you may have.